Queen for a day

For my birthday on Friday Sudha helped me into my first saree. The saree had been presented to me as a gift at the marriage we attended last month - I was very excited and pleasantly surprised to receive it. Sudha took me to the tailor to have the blouse custom made, helped me acquire a petticoat and stitched the hem for me. As one final and meaningful gift she came over and taught me how to put the thing on. It's not terribly complicated, but will require practice. Once the saree was on I did not feel as awkward as I thought I would. As a matter of fact I felt very elegant. I actually felt as though I should be headed to a black tie affair and not preparing dinner and chasing my children around the house. Women wear the saree all the way to the floor, which I think adds to the beauty, but because of this I had to walk a little straighter to keep from tripping on myself. And when you walk a little straighter, you stand a little taller. And when you stand a little taller you actually feel a little better about yourself. The old metaphorical mind-body connection. You can't slouch (like I do ALL the time) and still be beautiful. I think maybe I am slowly starting to unravel the beauty secrets of Indian women.

It is my humble opinion that Indian women, regardless of status, age or wealth carry themselves with incredible grace, elegance and beauty. Even the woman who cleans our house, and who happens to live in tarpaulin tent, looks like she just stepped out of a magazine. For starters, woman always wear their hair in a single braid down then back - no sloppy ponytails, no loose buns, and never down, which is considered immodest. A vast majority of women wear sarees (local spelling) and the rest wear salwar kameez - an elegant, colorful pant and tunic always accompanied by a long scarf. Married woman must never be seen publicly without the tikka (the red dot) on the forehead, bangles on each arm, and toe rings on each foot. I love these small touches of adornment and find they are like the icing on the cake. American culture places such an emphasis on sex appeal. But here the emphasis is on modesty and simple beauty. As a result, I think the beauty of the women in India is unparalleled.

Even at home women wear what they call a "nightie" which is definitely not the type of nightie that I know you are thinking of. A nightie in India is a short-sleeved, floor length, cotton house dress. As is the case with all Indian textiles most nighties are dyed and printed in exquisite designs and colors. I am now the proud owner of two of these house dresses - and I love them! My downstairs neighbor, a young, newlywed named Laxmi, came to visit the other day while I was wearing my nightie, and told me I looked "very, very beautiful - much better than in the pant-shirt". I happily accepted this backhanded compliment because I actually agree. I feel very awkward in my pants and tee-shirts while everyone around me looks so elegant. Being tall, white and blond I stand out enough - but add in a pair of pants and a tee-shirt and I feel like I'm wearing sweatpants at the prom.

To remedy my self consciousness I have acquired some toe rings and bangles. I have also been slowly amassing a new wardrobe of Indian textiles, that, while very beautiful and modest, are not necessarily what local women are wearing -but are far more beautiful than my Target clearance rack pants and shirts. My saree wearing days are not over, however, my frumpy, crunchy granola look just maybe on the way out.